Things happen, you forget your coffee at home, you get toothpaste on your sweater, you have a bad hair day, your laptop pulls a Diana Ross on you, and your relationship ends.Â Yes, all have happened to me within the past 6 months, two of them happening today.Â Isn’t that how it goes though?
I'd like to continue this theme and show how each of these items is applicable to daters (dating entrepreneurs as I like to call them) and the dating world. They give themselves time to grieve over a disappointment or setback, reflect on what they've learned, dust themselves off, and put themselves back out there, smarter and more empowered for what they've experienced. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions." Mentally strong dating entrepreneurs don't give away their power to those they date; they don't allow others to make them feel unworthy of love or respect. Morin writes: "Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge." Mentally strong dating entrepreneurs acknowledge that the unknown is scary but they also trust in themselves to be able to manage and move through changes in themselves and their dating lives. Morin writes: "A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up." Mentally strong dating entrepreneurs understand that they need to bring positive qualities to the dating world, such as thoughtfulness, kindness, and friendliness, but they also trust in and listen to their needs. Morin writes: "A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. Morin writes: "[Mentally strong people] invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future." While mentally strong dating entrepreneurs recognize that their past can be instructive and seek ways to unpack and understand how their past has affected their present, they also understand that analysis without action and experimentation is unproductive. Morin writes: "A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes." Mentally strong dating entrepreneurs take the time to reflect constantly on their thoughts, feelings, and actions in the dating world.
How I Think About Love and Relationships: I know after an extended period of time knowing someone, the qualities you see in someone go from being extraordinary to just plain ordinary.Â When it comes to a relationship, there has to be something extraordinary, some sort of “fire” that keeps the relationship going, and you loving that person.Â I have had the boyfriend who could always make me laugh, whether I was crying, or just waking up in the morning.Â I also had the boyfriend who was reliable and would be anywhere I needed him to be, whether it was because I was having a meltdown or I just wanted to go to Steak N’ Shake.Â That one particular trait about both of these guys made them extraordinary all the time.Â We need to not only focus on the extraordinary in our loved ones, but also in ourselves.
I know break ups are the worst.Â There is always that feeling of loss.Â You go back and question what you did wrong, where you should have put more effort, why it fell apart.Â I had a 2 year long distance relationship, which fell apart after a difficult summer being in different time zones, and living completely different lives.Â Like anything that goes wrong in our lives, I learned.Â I learned about myself, I became in tune with my own emotions and I learned about what I want out of my life, which is a good start for being 20.Â Love failures are not the end of you; it is more the beginning to a new stage of discovering yourself.
If they sense a new partner is making them question these things, they walk away with their dignity and self-respect intact. They recognize that change in their thoughts and actions can bring opportunities and exciting new possibilities, that to evolve and adapt is a good thing as scary as these changes may be. Morin writes: "In a bad situation, [mentally strong people] recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well." So, too, do mentally strong dating entrepreneurs recognize that the only thing they can control in their dating and love lives is their own thoughts, feelings, and actions, and that to attempt to control another human being and how they think, feel, and act is futile, unproductive, and exhausting. They have a voice and use it when necessary to communicate their needs to dates and in budding relationships. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks." Mentally strong dating entrepreneurs understand the difference between taking necessary risks versus unnecessary risks as they build and shape their love stories (a concept I tackle in my forthcoming book ). So they take action in the dating world (armed with the knowledge from their past) and act their way into new ways of thinking and new possibilities as they move forward. They don't just go through the dating motions like a mindless dating zombie but are self-reflective and are dedicated to building self-awareness. Morin writes: "Mentally strong people have this ability to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people's success." Mentally strong daters do their best to keep their envy and jealousy of others' dating and relationship joys in check and learn how to be happy for others' happiness. Morin writes: "Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every 'failure' can bring them closer to their ultimate goals." In the entrepreneurial world, this is called "failing up". Morin writes: "Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone.
They understand that the process of change may be uncomfortable, but they also recognize that their old ways of thinking and acting will never allow them to move forward and create the type of love they want for themselves. They understand that they will need to make themselves vulnerable and take chances in ways they've never done before, but they learn to not risk in ways that have repeatedly led them down unhealthy, dangerous paths. Conner writes: "Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs." So, too, for dating entrepreneurs. And if they're really smart dating entrepreneurs, they may even seek to learn from these people's experiences, in terms of how they created healthy, happy relationships, applying these lessons to their own lives. In the dating world, mentally strong dating entrepreneurs learn to see their failures as assets, and are committed to learning from them and then building on them. model of entrepreneurial dating", through which daters learn to take action, learn from their actions, and then act again, building on the knowledge that they are gaining through their actions to eventually create a healthy, happy relationship. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive." Mentally strong dating entrepreneurs also recognize the power of reflection time.